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Too well prepared

Nearing the end, Stan is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret."

His family urges him to go on.

"Before I got married, I had it all," Stan explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I'm not even thirsty!"

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Storm damage out west

Tucson John writes

"With all the news lately about the subzero weather and snow that the Midwest and East Coast areas are experiencing, we shouldn't forget that Tucson has also had its share of devastating weather in the last couple of weeks.

Below is a photo showing damage to a home from a recent storm that passed through the Tucson area. It really makes you cherish what you have and reminds us not to take life for granted. "

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Tilt shifted NYC

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Less than zero

That's how much 'tolerance' you'll find in this school.

Jeffersonville middle school student suspended for touching pill

JEFFERSONVILLE, IN (WAVE) - The parents of a Kentuckiana seventh grade student say their young daughter was suspended from school for doing exactly what she's been taught to do for years - to just say no to drugs.

The girl did not bring the prescription drug to her Jeffersonville, IN school, nor did she take it, but she admits that she touched it and in Greater Clark County Schools that is drug possession.

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March 04, 2010

Outrunning an avalanche

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Scott's shots

Scott Ellis has a nice portfolio of nature photos at his Zenfolio site.

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The Force Unleashed

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Mr. Pudding

From Futility Closet.

The Pudding Guy

In 1999, UC-Davis civil engineer David Phillips was grocery shopping when he noticed something peculiar. Healthy Choice Foods was offering frequent-flyer miles to customers who bought its products. But a 25-cent pudding would bring 100 miles — the reward was worth more than the product itself.

Recognizing a good thing, Phillips bought 12,150 servings of pudding for $3,140, claiming he was stocking up for Y2K. Then he enlisted the Salvation Army to help him peel off the UPC codes, in exchange for donating the pudding.

He mailed his submission to Healthy Choice, and to their credit they awarded him 1.25 million frequent-flyer miles, enough for 31 round trips to Europe, 42 to Hawaii, 21 to Australia, or 50 anywhere in the United States.

There's no downside. Phillips also got Aadvantage Gold status for life with American Airlines, which brings a special reservations number, priority boarding, upgrades, and bonus miles. And he got an $815 tax writeoff for donating the pudding.

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March 03, 2010

Slo-mo chow

Hungry dogs lickin' their chops.

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Question authority!

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Woman, 61, arrested for asking 'why'

Four women, two of them well into middle age, were discussing funeral plans for a friend when an Atlanta police officer told them to move.

Three did but one asked "why." In answer to her question, Minnie Carey, then 61, was handcuffed, put into a police wagon and taken to jail, where she was held for nine hours.

The Citizen Review Board found that Atlanta Police officer Brandy Dolson had violated APD policies and had falsely arrested Carey.

"I was blown away," Carey told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "I had heard about people in the community being harassed by the police … It really didn't shock me as much as it probably would have if I had not heard of people going to jail for no reason. I figured I was just another one.

"But I had the right to ask 'why' I had to move," she said.

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Over the castle

Three US F-15s following a German F-104 over Neuschwanstein. 5 megapixel version here.

Via

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Think that's punny, do you?

From the Post-Dispatch:

In contest with a twist, Marquette students put a spin on words

CHESTERFIELD — And now a word about students at Marquette High School who gathered last week to prove that learning can be pun.

A pun contest took place at the school last Wednesday.

Beginning as casual in-class word play, the contest, now in its second year, has expanded to include 15 competitors and 125 spectators. [...]

Sophomore Ryan Sieli was the contest winner. In response to a prompt about the forensics class setting up a fake crime scene in the library he said: "I bet the librarian went ballistic when she saw that."

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March 01, 2010

Fully sick

The story:

On the 9th Dec, just before Christmas and the festive season, I was diagnosed with Tuberculosis and placed into a quarantined room in Sydney Hospital. After three and a half weeks in hospital, I was released briefly because the doc's thought that they would have had the Tuberculosis under control with standard treatments, but was called back into the lonely little cell on the 18th Jan when some test results showed that my particular strain of TB was "multi-drug resistant", meaning that it was a much more intense treatment program, over a longer period of time. Shitballs.

I am an Australian, born and raised, but I had done some travel in South Africa and South America, so it's believed that I picked up the TB somewhere on one of those journeys.

In any case, I have now spent about 60 days in quarantine so far, on my own, and it's likely that I'll be here for another 4+ weeks. To take my mind off the treatment, the loneliness and the situation that I have found myself in, I have been playing around making some songs and some clips for those songs, then putting them up on Youtube. Taking the time to bring my friends and other people a bit of a laugh, has been a great way for me to feel as if I am taking a bad situation and making it somehow positive.

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Fake potholes

Mary sent a message with pictures of fake potholes and the claim that they were placed to slow speeders. But it appears their real purpose is to advertise shock absorbers.

A clever idea in either case.

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Make your stocker an ATV

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Irony update (2)

Scrap metal thieves haul off sculptor's recycled art

MANATEE COUNTY - Oh, the irony: A man uses scrap metal to create artwork. Thieves steal the artwork and police believe it is sold as scrap metal.

Three large pieces of artwork were taken from a home in Whitfield Estates, where a band of crooks -- it had to be more than one person, deputies reason, because the art weighed about 300 pounds -- snuck off with steel statues.

Neither the artist nor police are sure what happened to the artwork. But both presume it was sold for scrap. The way scrap metal is selling these days, the thieves may have been lucky to get $40 or $50.

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February 27, 2010

The poetry of Reality

Another auto-tuned clip of famous scientists from SymphonyOfScience.com, the folks who did the We Are All Connected video last fall.

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A full lustrum

Back in February, 2005, I had no idea I'd be doing this for five years and roughly 5,000 posts.

It's been an interesting time and I've learned a few things. The first was: don't try to avoid e-mail by using a blog. The e-mail subscriptions (now handled by FeedBurner) still outrun the RSS subscriptions (barely). Go figure. Since one of the reasons I started this was to avoid sending e-mail to people, the experiment was sort of a bust from that perspective.

Here are the posts that have proved to be perennial favorites, based on search queries.

• Ursula Martinez' striptease magic act, August, 2006 (courtesy of Rob)
• The cruelest tattoo, January, 2007 (courtesy of Tucson John)
• One of the largest single-page image collections on the web. (Careful! It takes a lo-o-ong time to load.)
• Cute animal pictures. These came from many people, but Carol was probably the biggest contributor to this category.
• The ever-popular tattoo pictures.

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Dinner for one

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Relax -- the song wasn't about you.

You're so vain... David

SINGER CARLY SIMON has finally ended a 38-year guessing game - by naming the subject of hit You're So Vain.

The catty lyrics were believed to be aimed at an ex-boyfriend such as MICK JAGGER, CAT STEVENS, KRIS KRISTOFFERSON or WARREN BEATTY.

But now the target has been revealed as gay producer DAVID GEFFEN, at the time head of Carly's Elektra record label.

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February 25, 2010

Sleeping newborns

The amazing pictures of snoozing newborns

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Trans-Siberian journey

Check out Google's site about a 5,752 mile, 6-day trip on the Trans-Siberian railway from Moscow to Vladivostok.

Moscow-Vladivostok: virtual journey on Google Maps

The great Trans Siberian Railway, the pride of Russia, goes across two continents, 12 regions and 87 cities. The joint project of Google and the Russian Railways lets you take a trip along the famous route and see Baikal, Khekhtsirsky range, Barguzin mountains, Yenisei river and many other picturesque places of Russia without leaving your house. During the trip, you can enjoy Russian classic literature, brilliant images and fascinating stories about the most attractive sites on the route. Let's go!

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Choose your decision

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Thank God for bacon

Otherwise, we might be overrun by Canadians. :-) News from BaconToday.com:

People in Canada Choose Bacon Over Sex

The people of Canada sure love their bacon. In a recent survey conducted by Maple Leaf Foods, 43% of the respondents said they would rather have bacon than sex. Are you surprised? If you're a daily reader of Bacon Today the answer is probably no. In fact, you're probably asking a question of your own — Canadian or Traditional bacon? Sadly, the survey was not that specific.

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February 24, 2010

Special dominos

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It's stuck all right

Alan Henderson is selling shirts with this design (and a bumper sticker) at Cafe Press.

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B-r-r-r!

Naked sled race draws 14,000

A naked sledging event in Germany's Harz region created a logistical nightmare over the weekend after 14,000 people showed up to watch 30 men and women strip before sliding down the mountain.

Normally the gentle slope in front of Braunlage's town hall is a pretty quiet place during the winter. Beginning skiers practice their first turns, parents plop their children on sleds, and pensioners take some air.

But the scene was quite different on Saturday, when thousands unexpectedly turned out for a nearly naked sledging contest sponsored by a radio station.

H.T. Paul

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Mom was right

Remember when your mother warned you never to take candy from a strange man? This is the guy she was talking about

H.T. Mary

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February 22, 2010

Google Liquid Galaxy

This is impressive. Of course, it would be truly wonderful if it delivered you to different places but it's cool nonetheless.

Google's Liquid Galaxy is engineer Jason Holt's 20% time project, a wraparound view of 8 LCD screens providing a truly immersive experience of Google Earth and Street View.

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Year of the Tiger

The Big Picture has a collection of photos from the Chinese New Year celebration earlier this month. Most of them are from China but the one below is of a tiger in Jakarta.

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